I have few friends who are very nice and I like to stay in touch with them.
These are very few people with whom I interact with and I try to stay in touch with them because I value their friendship. Usually I email them or talk to them at least once in a month to know if everything was ok with them. Mostly I am the one who take initiative and try to stay in touch. At some point I was very tired and just waited for them to ask me how I was doing. Its been few months since I spoke to some of them.
In the last couple of days my mom and sister asked me if I were in touch with my friends. I was very tired and then yelled at them saying that I don’t want to be the first person to always initiate conversations. If I were a very important person, why can’t they try to find out about my well being? This eventually led to a very big discussion and I happened to listen to a big lecture. The crux of the lecture was that I should not think the way I am now. They very well know that I am not at all an egoistic person but just tired.
One of my friends emailed and asked me if I was doing well and sent out an email wishing for the Tamil New Year’s Day. My other friend emailed and also called up to know how I was doing. I was happy that they did that.
There is another friend of mine with whom I could not talk to when I was in India. I was very busy after I came back and had lot of work pending from the vacation. .I felt bad and then wrote her an email after getting back to regular schedules. She was very upset that I did not talk to her. I felt bad that even having explained how packed my India trip was, still she was upset. I was happy that she expected it because we are very good friends but at the same time I was the one who has always taken efforts to keep in touch.
So I am wondering about this. Shouldn’t this be mutual? I believe conversation with anyone for that matter needs to be mutual.This thought made me to remain silent and just move on with my stuffs. May be this is just a phase and I would get back to usual tendency of emailing and calling.
2 comments:
Hi Smilie
Agree with ur views 100% that anything needs to be mutual.
Our expectation for a friend whom we consider as best friend is always high. We expect our best friend to stand by our side, come what may.
We don not expect from a casual acquaintance.
I feel both( you and your friend) are expecting coz u are really good frens
Think nowadays the mundane activities eat lotta time and jus tat we dont get time to call even our best pals, so initiation or effort should be from both the sides.
Am sure if it was for a best friend even if we have not spoken for a long time we would surely have lotta things to share and talk wen we meet :-) :-)
Best Regards,
Deviram
Hi smilie,
This s very common in nowadays.
Earlier me too had a similar feeling about this.Nowadays i understood that everyone s having their own commitments and priority schedules. so started accepting the happenings.(This s i learnt from my best dear friend:)
Sometimes initiation from one side will be bore. so better v can avoid expectations and if possible we will call them and say hi.
Regards,
AM
Post a Comment